Hey Runner Mama
  • Home
  • Articles
  • Music
  • Gear Reviews & Giveaways
  • About
    • About Runner Mama
    • Privacy

Stuff Moms Say: Toddler Edition

By Amanda • December 6, 2015 • Articles
Stuff Moms Say cc image Donnie Ray Jones on Flickr

Becoming a parent will teach you new phrases.  (No, I don’t mean the colorful kind, full of four-letter words–although I have been known to throw those around too.) And yet, 100% of the stuff moms say is completely by necessity. I mean, before we had toddlers, WHO KNEW we’d ever have to form sentences like “We don’t eat toilet paper”? Seriously.

My sweet baby is almost a year and a half old, and this is the kind of stuff that falls out of my face on a regular basis now. . .

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say dance

We don’t stand on the coffee table.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say TONGUE

We don’t lick the floor.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say DOG

We don’t eat the dog’s food.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say TP

We don’t eat toilet paper.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say WINDOW

We don’t headbutt the glass.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say TONGUE

We don’t lick the couch.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say chompy the shark

Don’t bite my hair!

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say WINE GLASS

Honey, if you’re going to the store, we need diapers and wine.

heyrunnermama stuff moms say DUCKY

No, the water is cold. This ducky’s a lying liar.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say PINE CONES

Tell me you’re not eating pine cones.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say BEETLE

What did you find? Don’t eat it, let me see. No, don’t eat it, what is it? Uh oh. HONEY? ARE BEETLES POISONOUS?

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say DIAPER

Hi sweetie! Mommy loves you. You smell like poop!

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say poop-icon

Honey, I need backup. There is poop everywhere.

 

heyrunnermama stuff moms say PANTS

It’s JUST PANTS. Why are you flipping out?

This one’s my favorite, because (unlike diaper changes, which have been a challenge since she learned to crawl) she never minded having pants put on before. And nothing about them has changed; she just suddenly hates them. It’s ridiculously arbitrary. Also, it reminds me of that dating service’s name: “It’s Just Lunch.” Which makes me feel relevant and hip when I quote its name to my kid for every routine thing under the sun that she’s suddenly pitching a fit about:

It’s JUST BREAKFAST.

It’s JUST THE CAR SEAT.

It’s JUST THE ERGO CARRIER.

It’s JUST THE DOG.

It’s JUST THE WHITE NOISE MACHINE.

It’s JUST THE HIGH CHAIR.

It’s JUST THE BABY GATE WHICH I HAVE CLOSED BEHIND MYSELF IN A VAIN EFFORT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM ALONE.*

*If you see a dating service named this, you should run very far in the opposite direction.

 

Do you find yourself saying weird stuff as a parent? Let us know your favorite stuff moms say in the comments!

baby gatebehaviorboundariesdiapers and winedon't eat dog foodhigh chairpoop everywherestuff moms saytoddlers
Tweet
8 Rules for Running in the Rain
Great Gifts for Runners

About the Author

Amanda

Amanda lives in the rainy Pacific Northwest. She collects reflective running gear like a magpie, and has a daughter who is breaking in her own first pair of running shoes.

You Might Also Like

  • girlfriends run for a cure

    Race Review: Girlfriends Run for a Cure

  • portland to coast FOOD

    Tips for Portland to Coast: Food For Your Relay Race

  • portland to coast team captain

    Tips for Portland to Coast: What to Bring When You’re the Team Captain

  • portland to coast what to pack

    Tips for Surviving Portland to Coast in Style: What to Pack

    Subscribe & Follow

    Categories

    • Articles
    • Fashion
    • Food
    • Gear Reviews & Giveaways
    • Music
    • Race Reviews

    Popular Posts

    Volunteering Gorge Waterfalls 50K

    Volunteering at the Gorge Waterfalls 50K: What I Learned about Ultramarathons

    On April 19, 2016
    01
    Recovery Sandals

    Recovery Sandals: Treat Your Feet

    On October 8, 2015
    02
    heyrunnermama giveaway

    Spring Day Giveaway – Ended 4/7

    On March 24, 2016
    03

    © 2018 HeyRunnerMama.com. All rights reserved.

    Never miss an update: Join my email list to get HeyRunnerMama updates straight to your inbox.

    ×